Blue Bayou
I found this piece to be thematically interesting. It's a more nuanced take on the 'cheating partner' story than I usually see. It was a deep dive into the character of the cheating partner, with a sense of inevitability to his actions, given the flaws of his character. The little details added to the realism and sadness of the piece. I would have liked the wife character to be a little more fleshed out, though I understand the constraints of the time limit. The piece was effective at conveying a mood, but the story seemed to deal in more muted emotions, which may have been the point, but prevented me from being completely engaged. I thought it was a well written piece over all with an interesting take on a familiar topic.
Bodey
Interestingly, this verse was also about cheating on a partner. You both used the same picture for inspiration, so I suppose it was not that unlikely. You chose to tell your story from the point of view of the person being cheated on, which made me sympathise and empathise with storyteller a lot more. Also, your piece included a lot of specific details, which made this feel like the story of a real relationship rather than a general archetype. There was also an emotional current through the writing, that spent time on the highs and the lows. I particularly liked the ending. It would have been very easy to have the storyteller be magnaminous and forgiving, particularly due to the issues the cheater was facing, but it made the storyteller feel more realistically flawed that they did not and have not forgiven the betrayal. The vengeful feelings that did not end made the stakes of the story higher in retrospect, in my view. This was a strong piece.
This was an interesting battle, in that some ways both of you were telling a version of the same story. For me, it came down to the fact that I felt that Bodey's storyteller had more depth as a character, so I connected more with the story. Both pieces were very well written though.
Vote - Bodey
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