brokenhal0
In this and other things you write I appreciate your ability to rhyme. It's good. But you often throw random things together which makes for a wobbly read. If you could be a bit more linear, go from A to B instead of XYZ, you'd get votes and more readers.
Objective
Pretty cool piece. You have a tendency to overdue a line sometimes, packing in extra rhymes (which can be good if executed properly), but yours sometimes has a rambling effect. Some stretched phrases salvage their weeps? But overall this piece kept me engaged and curious as to the meaning of some of it.
Inno
I get that you're a poet but sometimes I like a more metered rhyme. You seemed to pick and choose when you decided to rhyme, as opposed to doing it throughout. Perhaps I've been spoiled by better showings from you in the past; I thought this verse, while occasionally having some good imagery-- was rather plain. Not bad, but not great.
I've got V Objective here with the most compelling narrative
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