Blue – This writing is top notch, I was expecting another ’battle’ but you come out that comfort zone and delivered a real emotion piece here, everything hit, its feels natural too whilst maintain your patterns.
but after tenuous months you re-embraced me & passion was gifted
i was elated the act of forgiveness is the tact that you went with
acted submissive head back into business. another case closed
to and from the office everyday speeding down that old grey road
it was during this time you were something of a martyr to me
id learn tho, glimmers of hope observed in the moonlight are harder to see
the straw had broke the camel’s back inside a glass half empty – crazy
I don’t have really any big problems with it, weird!
Great spin on the topic, didn’t neglect it, very witty, smooth writing and well paced, ending didn’t quite stick but it wasn’t designed to and it didn’t need to. Its real good
Bodey – Pretty much a contrast to blues with a man full of regret and opposed to yours of a man with no remorse, almost different sides of the coin, made it a perfect match up really
always said technicality doesn’t bother as much if the story is good and keeps me going, this is a classic example, it isn’t a smoother read as blues and dragged a little longer, on preference (certainly) that and only that could hurt u here imo.
You really bring this guys emotion into view here, its always boring when people be dim and graceful after their shortcomings, say they hope for the best etc but everyone has that bitterness in them and you exploited it real well here (towards the end), angle is never highlighted enough. Creative
The best day of our relationship was actually the worst – this line was dope purely cuz it got me enticed from there, not really sure why lol. Just profound simple little lines like this and that open things up n draw u in.
As if she could regurgitate the self-hatred she swallows all day long - nicceee
neither ending stood out here, although both fell to their natural path, as designed
not trying to come full circle but this is the toss of a coin… I don’t wanna put either up and down tbh, BOTW contender
Not mad at either winning this…. fuck ill v/Blue since I have to, (unlucky to catch blue like this bodey)… had me engaged that bit more, surprised me with his ability to switch to this format
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