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Old 04-17-2020, 02:19 AM   #7
Adverse
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I agree with Pharaoh here, this is a super tough vote which is exactly what you'd like to see out of a contender's match. You guys are two of my favorite writers on the site and i kind of assumed this would be clash od the topical titans, so I'm glad i wasn't disappointed. I believe i predicted a toss-up in the mag but unfortunately somebody has to lose here, so let's start with

Universe:
Your narrative choice this week was interesting. Your first half before the horrors really started had me engaged definitely and i liked how you were incorporating the theme throughout "We were always in the same boat until she got swallowed up by the depths" "water's edge reflected the esteem of an opportunity missed" really loved those couple of bars and the picture they painted compared to the picture you were writing based off of. The first half of your verse is eerie, and i felt the grievance in it but honestly i was not prepared for the twist it caught me way off guard. I don't think it's a "bad" narrative choice though even though it kind of haunted me lol it was just so far left field that i was sort of shell shocked as a reader, and as if the rape/abortion bits weren't enough then the murders come along and it's just kind of brutal, which speaks to you as a writer because honestly i was cringing like i was witnessing these things happen in person. I liked the closing bars too, they did a good job bringing closure to a crazy piece. You took some risks here and i upon first read i didn't know if they paid off but now I think they did.

dead man:
I really love your pieces man. I just love how they ooze with nostalgia all the way down to the product placement (capri suns, tech decks, tony hawk) it just brings me back to my own youth as well. Really liked how smooth flowing your verse was, it just transitioned very well. I also like how you don't have to paint a visual every bar, sometimes it can just be a phrase or even a word and it still keeps the piece moving forward. I think you were very methodical with your piece and didn't stray from tradition much. I also liked how the ending really brought your picture you were painting to the forefront, i think those last four lines are some of my favorites from the verse. "for whenever this water gets way too deep. i mean
there's only a chance that my body floats
but it's gotta be better to drown than choke." Really liked that bar.

This one is hard to call i went back and forth on who was the winner and really wanted to avoid picking but i finally settled it. My vote goes to Universe i think he just really crossed some boundaries with his verse and while dead man had an awesome piece i don't think he took many risks like Universe which sometimes doesn't pay off but i think Uni's did this time. Two complete polar opposite pieces and both verses probably would have beat any other opponent y'all would have faced. Hate i had to pick just one both of y'all are incredible writers.

V/Uni
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