Netcees - View Single Post - Scar vs brokenhal0- SCAR WINS

Universe · 04-10-2020, 08:23 PM

Yeah good job on short notice guys.

Scar - What a thorough piece here. Thing was like reading a verse laced with cyberpunk vibes. I loved how you displayed everything too... with the bold and italics and the verse centered... presentation matters, and you nailed it. What I enjoyed the most about this though was how committed you were to telling a specific story. At first I didn't really grasp it fully, then I was hit with the "aha" moment and read it again right away... and it all stayed pretty solid on further inspection, which is tough to do. With that said, it did get a little too out there at times for my taste (especially the bold sections) but nothing too crazy. This was a pleasant surprise for being dropped on relatively short notice. Definitely a good start for you in this league and I am looking forward to seeing more.

brokenhal0 - Your piece was like reading a computer blueprint or something. Very cool technically but did little for me in terms of a story or delivering anything surprising or memorable. You have some skill though, just focus it on something deeper than merely the surface of the topic going forward.

Vote - Scar

04-10-2020, 08:23 PM	#9
Universe Everything's Connected Join Date: Nov 2017 Location: Niagara Falls, Canada Posts: 1,001 Battle Record: 19-8 Champed - Guerrilla Writing League(2x) - GWL Picture challenge(2x) - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 10178706	Yeah good job on short notice guys. Scar - What a thorough piece here. Thing was like reading a verse laced with cyberpunk vibes. I loved how you displayed everything too... with the bold and italics and the verse centered... presentation matters, and you nailed it. What I enjoyed the most about this though was how committed you were to telling a specific story. At first I didn't really grasp it fully, then I was hit with the "aha" moment and read it again right away... and it all stayed pretty solid on further inspection, which is tough to do. With that said, it did get a little too out there at times for my taste (especially the bold sections) but nothing too crazy. This was a pleasant surprise for being dropped on relatively short notice. Definitely a good start for you in this league and I am looking forward to seeing more. brokenhal0 - Your piece was like reading a computer blueprint or something. Very cool technically but did little for me in terms of a story or delivering anything surprising or memorable. You have some skill though, just focus it on something deeper than merely the surface of the topic going forward. Vote - Scar __________________ ..Passed the Present and Future..