This was a nice piece all around, I feel your vocab is a great attachment
but at times when you fit all the syllables into the piece..and then throw a comma here
a period there, it kind of tosses me off, strictly based off the extra usage of words
other than that you really drew me in with the whole idea of this piece
you still have that touch....to be honest....I enjoyed the names w/ miscellanous items
nice drop though...keep writing
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