[Universe]

Note: I wrote this in a pharmacy while waiting for my prescription lol... Sometimes when inspiration strikes you just have to go with it.

Bayer with me...

"I don't do drugs. I am drugs." - Salvador Dali

......

Sir...

Sir... ?

Here's my tirade on the drug trade, from heroin to methamphetamines
Bought off the black market, it's like the Pot calling the Ketamine
God Speed, I caught you At-a-van buying Perks at your leisure
Now you about to Sudafeds like illegal search and seizure
War shipped like Viking-dens, no space for Hash-tags you all love
I only got clean on Bath Salts after being dragged through the mud
Clear the air with the man upstairs, here's an Oxy moron for clean-addicts
Go pop Valium in the valley... you won't need wonderland to Cialis
Screw who takes Aleve of absence, most a Demerol cowards
Morphine makes more fiends after those placebo's devoured
If I need a pharm-acist like a field hand Weed be growin' for hours
But I don't want to be left-hooked from what's over the counter
My Lip-it-tore from being bit so hard, I just Ambien honest
You an Aspirin'-artist but I-boo-pro-fin's like the Miami Dolphins
When billed prescriptions are finally doctored enough to get your fill...
You'll temp'll-rarely be on fire, too bad it had only Benadryl
You anti-biotic so death is sealed, now you tetris-cyclin' down so fast
Keep a mellow-tone-in-fact, I'm a pro and that's just how Prozac
I'm only popping caps if the bottle snaps, that's hard for kids to twist
Subtract civilians and Advil'ns like a hero's arch nemesis
But I can only disregard the symptoms if it starts addictive quips
You chase Barbiturates with hard liquor, so if there's a bar-bitch-you-it
Now Adderall up like addition and what did you get?
Probably an early onset illness like John Ritter's death
It's best two-free-base after 8 balls, and you might just sling them
Celebrex-it to the public and Withdrawal like the United Kingdom
At night glistenin' like Nitroglycerin, too dazed to deal with it urgently
Don't need Claritin allergies currently to declare-it-an emergency
Your need'll Nick-a-teen like razors with that first shaving cream
Guess there will always be-side effects like how actors fake green screens
There's no need for Codein the floor, you trip since I'm Tylenol of it
Now I got some Tramadol like mourning a child lost to SIDS
Trauma-doll? Meh it fits, I'll just kidnap Rocks and shit
Making inflammatory re-marks like acne, I must be on Naproxen's script
Approximate diagnosis, I'll die with asymptomatic notions too
Bet you use your Aunty as an antidepressant... antidote over you
Cure-ious but so true, applied to any topical I'm so specific
Not into the heavy stuff cuz my Hydro-cord-is-zone restricted
Meaning I make light of it, now I'm drug-free like I was trapped man
But that's my Ritalin-side-talking like an enigmatic package to Batman
I have to half a Lorazepam to lessen my lore around town
I slipped you a roofy high on Zo-loft, then I Toradol down
Got your online fix like app ointments, all you can apply is Neosporin
I'll take you back to the real world, you know the one where Neo's-poor-in
Some rob a drug store after drugs-tore through their last sense
But going on the Lamisil-ly, drugs are a drag when you passed tense
We all know you Special, K? You narc on narcotics that can heal
I took a Dilaudid to not feel and now I'm much lauded in my field
To borrow from the late Robin Williams when he was standing up...
Reality is just a crutch for people who can't handle drugs
And if you wondering what I use four-relief? Acyclovir for luck
Low and behold we nothing but smugglers...

So just say no to what?

Sir!

Ah!

Sorry sir but your prescription's done, want to come right up?
Let's discuss this fast while under masks, this is some sight huh?
Coronavirus is going viral, I could be dead when sun rise comes
But we all gotta go eventually, even Atlas at one time shrugged
Can't give fist bumps like knucks, it's bring a knife to a gun fight dumb
But we must succumb to social distancing and limit our one on ones
So if we get behind a wall and leave everyone behind and stuck...
Then at some point don't we have to admit that Trump's right? Fuck
Time to demand Asylum; Aliens spread disasters through Earth
But we don't need to be straight edge to "flatten the curve"
It's your prerogative to turn this positive, but keep it to your inner circle
Until this planet's deserted you'll never hear 'you look better in person'
Dinner is served kid, the COVID-19 winter's eternal
Satellites burn up, all that remains is what's written in journals
Kind of like what you're holding, I saw you over there writing
Care to share what it was all about? ... Nah, nothing exciting
I saw you underlining... Yeah, well the underlying factor remains
I don't share unless I post it to boards like passenger planes
That's insane, a zombie outbreak is underway and that's what's important?
Label me morbid but we're dying during a toilet paper shortage!
Haven't you heard all the reporting? Everyone's actually hoarding!
They should probably quarantine YOU! How's THAT for a story?

*4 seconds of awkward silence*

Can I just have my prescription please?

Uh, yeah certainly. Sorry.

I'm outta here.