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Universe · 03-15-2020, 10:16 AM

Great battle. I read Adverse's and thought it was over but MMLP surprised me here. This one is definitely close.

Adverse, as I said, I loved this verse. Everything flowed beautifully and you told a story that made me visualize what you were saying (which is the point of stories). This was what I look for in topicals, clean, concise, and to the point. Very well written. Well done.

MMLP, if Adverse told he best story, you wrote the manual. Your piece lacked the heart of Adverse's but technically it was a marvel. Multi's, flow, rhyme schemes, all shone through here. I LOVED that you gave it a title and had a quote at the end. This made it seem like it's own little self contained piece, and I appreciated that.

I read both verses three times... I think one stands out more than the other... by a hair. Plus, MMLP didn't make the deadline... I get personal stuff pops up but there's no way to prove that extra day wasn't spent on perfecting the verse. If you're late, you should be docked 1 or 2 votes.

Deadlines matter.

Vote - Adverse

Great job fellas.

03-15-2020, 10:16 AM	#7
Universe Everything's Connected Join Date: Nov 2017 Location: Niagara Falls, Canada Posts: 1,001 Battle Record: 19-8 Champed - Guerrilla Writing League(2x) - GWL Picture challenge(2x) - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 10178706	Great battle. I read Adverse's and thought it was over but MMLP surprised me here. This one is definitely close. Adverse, as I said, I loved this verse. Everything flowed beautifully and you told a story that made me visualize what you were saying (which is the point of stories). This was what I look for in topicals, clean, concise, and to the point. Very well written. Well done. MMLP, if Adverse told he best story, you wrote the manual. Your piece lacked the heart of Adverse's but technically it was a marvel. Multi's, flow, rhyme schemes, all shone through here. I LOVED that you gave it a title and had a quote at the end. This made it seem like it's own little self contained piece, and I appreciated that. I read both verses three times... I think one stands out more than the other... by a hair. Plus, MMLP didn't make the deadline... I get personal stuff pops up but there's no way to prove that extra day wasn't spent on perfecting the verse. If you're late, you should be docked 1 or 2 votes. Deadlines matter. Vote - Adverse Great job fellas. __________________ ..Passed the Present and Future..