nigma - this was a trip down the rabbit hole in a sense - turning the biblical canaan on it's head in many ways and almost fleshing out SIN as an governing ideology from the inside out. you gave a heavy emphasis to gluttony and a contemptuous allusion to the "thou shalt not steal from thy neighbor" parable. all in all, it was a clean-cut (rhythmically) look inside what you deem as illumination. im glad you didnt go a traditional illuminati route. and the shoutout to vulgar had me smiling, that was dope.
a bit preachy for my taste, honestly. but what you gave us was insightful and well-done.
objective -
firstly, idk where you're from or what accent you possess but in my americanized chicago dialect, KANT, as in Immanuel (not Emmanuel), and PLANT do not rhyme whatsoever. if you pronounce plant with a soft 'A' as they do in the UK i understand. otherwise, i'll just have to assume you have only read his work as opposed to discussing it verbally.
i enjoyed your chemical interpretation of love and emotion and how you attempted to tie Kantian ideas into your Romeo and Juliet's tale. the metapors were a bit convoluted in spots because there was no real development between mike and jane in a literal sense, it was almost an entire piece devoted to orienting your metaphors (such as the chess board) that never really had a chance to come full circle. i am not terribly familiar with Kantian philosophy to the point where i feel comfortable breaking down segments of your verse exhibiting his ideas, but i think the initial break in their relationship - their distance created by a differing philosophy of love, the world, etc. - was really cool. i have read that one of the most effective predictors of a successful romantic relationship has to do with shared spiritual or ideological interests. is this true objectively? id say of course not.. but ive had experiences that could certainly make a case for it.
a few problems i had were obviously the misspelling of kant's name, and the potential mispronunciation of it as well. it immediately dissipated a sense of credibility behind your writing which is essential in a verse attempting to teach us something, as i felt this was.
i really enjoyed the romantic aspect of what was at it's core a philosophical undertaking, it made everything more accessible. like an ocean liner on rocky seas.
overall, and this is a tough one here, i will have to award my vote to objective. he ultimately wrote something that encompasses a succinct pattern, but used a very interesting (although scattered and almost disorganized at times) literary device to do so.
both could work on their wording so that it catches reader's attention, i felt both verses dragging on at points due to their lyrical structuring alone.
anyway
VOTE OBJECTIVE
you guys take care, this was a great matchup here
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Zack Wicks for president
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