Quote:
Originally Posted by Just Write
Potent with sighs I hear the bellows of valkryie cries,
With launch sequels with scribes shouting order disguised.
Primitive lives on the balance of creational drives,
Mines the sentiments of antic while others are chipping and dried.
Artistic knives sculpting the view through patterns,
Wrap the lunar soles with acid to deplete the soul purpose of matter.
Brain dead- shattered thoughts collage into memory masses,
I don’t cater to the bull shit so I ain’t radio active.
Free the classics and let the practice preach,
Find the reason for death asleep with wounds of the weak.
You’ve awaken the giant now its time to smash on thru,
If im giving you that WHITE .. don demarco follows I just laid the smack on you.
irrational attitudes magnified by factual aptitudes
stone hearts in this cold art void compassionate attributes
we flow at a magnitude to rival each tide, from ocean to sky
fuck wit us n' get uppercuts till ur bones are broken inside
known for totin knives n blades, the most precise with aim
We toe tag these hoe bags n' leave em lined in a pine to stay
been winin n' dinin' dames since nik was malachai's age
(that's 2,700 years, ninety nine days on a calendar's page)
so get ur shit straight fore we get "serious" wit a switchblade
and flick our wrist six ways till we cut chunks outta each leg
these punks haven't seen great, this is only an introduction
because it takes time for an engine to prime n' all systems to function.
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Interesting read - you work well together.
The first verse whoevers that was, that flowed better and was very good technically, only problem was the message or topical point was lost, even more so when I got to the second, however as a writing ability goes, this was fire.
The second verse opened similar to the first, not really sure where we are going topically but the rhyme scheme and writing ability shines through, nice vocab and nice multis etc, this verse then sort of tangents off and while I follow it nicely the content feel starts to find a more of an old slim shady tone.
None of these are bad points however was a very technical piece and an enjoyable read, just felt that the topical point being made here if any was a little either all over the shop or not clear enough but that could be me.
A better title might have helped direct me however I did enjoy what you did with the title lol.
Props