Wow, based on density alone, this should be BOTW for me, I thought me and Adonis had some deep thoughts, but yall went down the rabbit hole on this one, very much befitting that crazy ass pic.
First some quotes..
Nigma:
3 of us discuss occult in a black hole, me, Vulgar and Al Poe
- Made me LOL, you nerds would be talking conspiracy
In your eye or iris don't look inside and admire
Because pride is a virus, the giant igniter of fire
Lacking in humility conspires to inspire our desires
These desires may reap their toll and break control
See your neighbors gold, go take ahold to make your own
Embracing things not paid and sold will lace your skin
- That whole italicized section actually was highly inventive, great sense of a different speaker,
intriguing rhyme scheme, just hot fire really
Bent with lumps and the stress, until nothing is left
- I'm appreciating the shout out here, lol
Great ending to the italicized part, again its just a great coupling with the topic, its abstract, its strange,
its otherworldly
love the image of the play and the curtain in flames, very smart.
Fascinating message, but I just wish there was a bit more chaos and conflict between who the teacher and the students are and
what lasting impact this wisdom will really have?
------------------------------------------
Objective:
The chessboard seeks vengeance and serves as life's puzzles,
its pieces finds its place when you're revising your internal hustles.
- This, i had a problem with. First two lines worked great. I think i understand what you are aiming at, but its unclear and I needed
a better connection between the chessboard, its pieces, and life.
But the serotonin was gone, no more romance in chem,
He knows the root of love is broken if it's cut off from the stem.
- That line was just inspired and really brilliant man, loved that and really appreciated the mix of intelligence and emotion characterized
by Mike, cuz that's college life, fine honeys and brain power lol
It rustles my jimmies'', he said, and the landscape went silent,
in his conscious mind the world seemed morbid and violent.
The king finds its place in the center, the pawns is hardly making a scene,
All of them is dark pieces of his past, but there's no sight of his queen
- ok, now your chessboard conceit is beginning to become a bit clearer, I appreciate that more. Rustles made me LOL
The debris of a shattered existence is a mind breaking out of the loop
- Great, quotable line here. Just creative and strong writing
I am disappointed in both of you that there was no mention of the Nautilus that is clearly in the picture, it is only one of the coolest sea creatures ever, and has to be an inspiration for this crazy shit.
In any case, great battle. I feel that this is some of the best I have ever read from Nigma. He put his amazing skills on display here, only think lacking in this story/topical was a sense of the stakes and some conflict to push it along and really make it cook. I get that it was you three guys who got this vision, but why? what makes you so damn cool that this eyeball wonder being would break down the evil of the power/class structure with you three? only real quibble with the verse lol. Objective came with a fascinating, multi-layered story that had hints of CerealKiller in there to me, only thing missing would be some rainbow text lol Shouts to @CerealKiller, h'es the man. I feel that what plagued this verse was some confusion as to how your conceit of the chessboard really fit, i thought it was a great and creative idea that you just didnt really apply as well as I had hoped. verse lacks the wizardry of Nigma, but you show some real emotional depth and intelligence when tackling a philosopher's love story.
Tough battle.
Vote -
Nigma for a verse I enjoyed more, Objective dropped a solid piece but if Nigma insists on writing like this, we had all better step it up.