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Old 06-11-2013, 05:19 PM   #2
Nigma
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Hello. I feel as though you executed this concept very nicely. Considering the back and forth dialogue and progression plot development, I feel you did an alright job keeping the rhyme scheme on pace. Feel like you could have used some more internals or assonance to liven things up but it was still very readable mainly due to the content alone. You had intriguing witty answers for seemingly ordinary questions which was my favourite part of the verse. I feel the ending was a little lackluster. The direction you went was, meh, okay, but I feel the wording in the last line was sort of a bad note to end on. Regardless, this was a memorable verse that I'll probably reread in the future.
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