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Old 04-27-2019, 09:19 AM   #8
Orc
Certified Mother’s Boy
 
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 5,163
Battle Record: 5-1

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SIG was cool. Nice style. Just need to be a bit more witty or spin the concepts a bit more. I liked the gunbar line because it was real. If you put a little more effort into the verses I’m sure you could come with some fire. I feel like you probably used to be good whenever you last done this.

Veritas while your verse was creatively worded there was no wit or any real semblance of an effective punchline. I don’t know why you can’t grasp the acceptable fundamentals of this niche writing style considering you’ve actually penned novels. But yeah not enough to win here.

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