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Old 01-20-2013, 03:37 PM   #2
Nice
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this was cool, this is where i realized where you two were going with this lol

Never being able to touch each other with our sexual occults
Intellectual; we talk about the past, present and the future
Everybody wonders why I spend every second on computers
Calling me a loser because I never see a ray of sunshine
I dwell in the bitter pits of darkness but my days are sublime


your transitions were on point, flow control stood out a few sneaky metaphors thrown in, kudo's


Brodey, hi love


Never being able to touch each other with our sexual occults
Intellectual; we talk about the past, present and the future
Everybody wonders why I spend every second on computers
Calling me a loser because I never see a ray of sunshine
I dwell in the bitter pits of darkness but my days are sublime

this part made me "oh dayum" lol.. i dont get a chance to read too much from you but when i do im always pretty impressed. you have a nice structure which is always easy to read, like hella layed back. props


sane im not gunna quote anything from your last verse because it was my favorite and i really didnt see any flaws. thi was a nice collab, you 2 meshed well on this. lookin forward to more from both of you. peace

p.s. thanks for feedin my piece sane
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