I dunno with Oats man, we're crew so I can't really tell him a wjhole lot about writing he doesn't already know or hasn't had me say before, you know?
I enjoy that sometimes he'll let the flow take hold of what he's saying, and will run with it, like the opening four lines here he probably just wrote up quickly and the rest flowed out of it, BUT, I hate when he does things like the "Why don't you care?" rhyme. It just seems really, really lazy to me. Maybe he keyed the line or wrote this up quickly, but the rest just seems so much more developed, more wordy, more polished, you guys dig me? Odd things like that annoy me, I'm a real perfectionist with the pen game, I hate seeing it, I wouldn't allow myself to do it, so I don't like reading it and I notice it more when reading things like this.
RANT OVER
"Could have had it all guy" line was beastly, loved the flow switch there, thought that I could easily quote that off bat.
Thought you over-complicated things towards the end, nauseous or nervous just seems a convoluted rhyme. No need for it.
Overall I enjoyed it though, don't get it twisted, keep that pen moving!
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