Quote:
Originally Posted by boof
these conflicting forces inside of you are you opening up to love and connection but feeling fear because you know you have much work to do before you deserve it as you're still essentially a pos
stoked about the soda & fast food tho. huge step
|
most likely correct. i think at a base level its simple friendship. its just since its the opposite sex it has my mind weirded out. but i literally cut out all my friends, last i know it was all just heroin/pills. plus people had kids and grew up and my idea of friendship was partying legit, like wtf lets get some ho's over get booze and coke and actually party. but no one did that anymore
so pretty much depriving myself of normal human friendship and now opening up to it like 5 years later in the form of women is fuckery.
also i think a huge factor involved in all this is simple exhaustion. i've been working 5 am to 5pm alot through this time, and sleeping like 4-6 hours tops every night while doing these. which can't be good. and just the stresses of work in general and hating most my co workers so i'm barking at them during the day and then dreaming about stressful situations at night its like i never fucking leave that place