Pharaoh really got the tools to be a problem if he keep at it. The wording made this punch enjoyable to read but didn’t have a strong enough flip or enough complexity to squeak one out here. The multi/in rhyme and the only thing Incredible is my right hook we’re all big pluses. But you’re going to have to have a flip, a metaphor, wordplay etc to win, especially in a 1-2 battle. I think wording and execution is what typically separates mid tier from top tier and you got the wording down so just work on your concepts.
Inc the feed for your bar is pretty much the opposite lol. I think the wording and execution was messy (I liked what you were going for though) but the wordplay carried the punch. Pheromones was a pretty good wordplay. Your set up got the job done but I really think you could have improved it a lot. I left this feed in someone else’s battle but you really want your set up and punch to be saying the same thing. Reading your first bar it’s like your saying your gun bars are better than his. You shoulda used that set up to kinda paint the picture of him getting shot and docs have him on the operating table or something more closely related to the punch. Anyways, you kinda took it by default cus you got solid wp where pharaoh didn’t really have a true punch.
I got Inc winning this one, but pharaoh your wording is promising, just gotta work on the actual punch. Inc you’re trending upward. I’d just focus on improving your setups and wording. I’ll give you this tip for free: write what your punch is saying in like plain terms, then write out what you need to say in the set up in plain terms, then after you do both, craft your set up to say that in as short a phrase possible.
Anyways, good work.
Mvgt Inc
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