I aint racist butt ill beat yo black ass. U’ll get bodied in the street bum
No wonder white eyes are always on you, we wish we cud return u to Africa for a refund
(Nahhh G. I feel like you shoulda ran this by someone black. Nah this missed. Not to be a asshole, but this a elementary/middle school level diss - if you went to a diverse school, you prob done heard this before and it was a trash diss then lol. Anyways it came off lazy)
All that “fuck 12” shit is dyin’ wen we meet. Ur Hands up cryin’ as u plea
Racist cops smilin’ at me, so it’s only natural we shoot u in ur back while you flee
(This is okay. Imo you didn’t really set up your punch. Your punch has him begging for your life and I personally think you should have put something that shifts the focus to “okay now he running away” cus the shot in the back kinda comes outta no where. Concept pretty good though)
U bag hoes who are slimy and hella fat. Double chins & triple backs
All the fish in the sea n ur fuckin tht? U’ll end up w a whale for a daughter like Mr. Krabs
(Lol this is pretty good. Set it up well and was funny. The whale for a daughter flip wasn’t crazy but it definitely works)
I’m at ur house w the goons, anyone comin’ outside will get got - I swear it
& if u pussies wnt come out ill have animals circling over the crib like a baby carriage
(This is FIRE. Set it up well and the circle ya crib flip is dope)
The Nina has no favorites, she’ll destroy anyone just to take ur heart
A ratchet’ll end ur marriage.. and the side piece will tear ur family apart
(So the side piece flips have been done quite a bit by itself, then the ratchet end the marriage has been done (ratchet flips in general just gonna be hard ti feel fresh cus they been done to death). I think this bar though putting both these together made it feel fresh and it wasn’t flipped exactly the same way as anything I’ve heard. I think take your heart is a good set up. Overall you spun this enough for it not to feel completely played but it still feels a bit played. I got this as a light jab)
His next girl compared our penis pics, I knew then to finger the hoe for a fuck
Your photos were such a reduction in size it took a thumbnail to open her up
(I ain’t a fan of dick lines but this is excellent writing. You set this up perfect. The comparing pics and finger fuck in the set up makes this work. Then pretty much the entire second line is part of the flip and has a double meaning. That’s a very long phrase to flip so flawlessly. Weird to call this line dope but it’s dope)
Ur on that fat girl steez, totin the ratchet like “that’s my speed”
Bitch plz.. ima wig on body w/ clips to the head like black girl weave
(Pretty good. Extensions/clip/weave flips been done which takes away from punch. Set up take away from punch as well imo cus it doesn’t have anything to do with punch and doesn’t transition to the punch well imo. On the positive side though that’s another pretty long phrase to flip. Pretty good body flip. For some reason I really like the “wig on body” part in particular)
LONG SHOTTY! If it dnt finish em off I aint worried - my dawgs got me
Or drag a scalpel down his chest.. it’ll open up body at the morgue like an autopsy!
(This was light to me. The flip just wasn’t complex enough in that both meanings are too close too each other. Ie there’s not 2 different meanings to “scalpel down his chest” and “at the morgue”. Only part with double meaning is “open up body”)
U ain't built For Battling…so fuck any wordplay u yield,
Cuz u won't get a vote of confidence after this poll survey the field
(Pretty good. Vote of confidence a good tie in. I like the poll pole flip. It’s been done I think once but you got “survey the field” which elevated it a bit)
AK felt the guns bark cuz I don't have a hesitant beagle,
Now I’ma let these ‘dogs come thru UR window’ like Resident Evil
(I like how you playing off your bar last week but “hesitant beagle” is really throwing me off. When I first read it i thought you meant deagle. Just sounds weird not sure what you’re going for there. Anyways dogs come through your window is fine but you didn’t do anything to really set it up. It shoulda been something in the set up about shooting through the window or tag could paint the scene as to why your shooting through the window)
If ur in ‘arms reach’ then I’ma make ur fuckin jaw spin,
Or I’ll ‘breath fire’ & have u scorch by a flame thrower like Dhalsim
(Same thing that plagued zelph in his verse in that this is a familiar concept. Arms stretch/dhalsim kinda take away from the set up. Don’t remember any breathing fire/dhalsim flip though so I thought that was good. Overall I got this landing as a jab)
There’s a fat chance this pig be eating loud as a bitch,
I bet Zelph be ‘hovering over the plate’ like batter crowdin the pitch
(This is nice. I don’t think zelph fat right? But you still got the flip on “pig” that makes this work. Anyway hovering over the plate is a nice flip. I like the line)
This dirty cop is in a bloody mess. It’s a Twister scene,
But if I let a ‘bald head clean up the situation’ it won’t be Mr. Clean
(This one is okay ay best. Bald head lines are kinda played in general. I’m pretty sure the mr clean has been done in regular rap but I can’t put my finger on it so it’ll get the pass from me. Clean up the situation salvaged the bar for me)
U look like a horse cop so I'ma leave a rival headless,
Until all we see is ur 'skull hanging by ur chest' like a tribal necklace
(You set this one up very well. Skull hanging by your chest is good imagery and a good flip. This was pretty dope)
Nigga I'ma fuckin animal. I got the crown in this battle,
U want beef? I’ll ‘pull up w/a Longhorn’ like a rancher roundin up cattle
(I really wanted this to work but I can really figure out what you where going for with pull up with a long horn. I got this missing but I might just not be getting the punch)
If the blade leaves his ‘uppercut’ I bet this chump break,
Cuz a ‘clean shot’ will ‘lift him off his feet’ like jumpin at a pump fake
(This is a good closer. I got on zelph for this so I gotta be equal in that your setup and punch were moving in different directions. I think you can do a set up and punch that aren’t related but you gotta have a transition in there or end the first bar with a punch. But you go from stabbing to shooting with no transition which kinda throw me off reading it. Anyways other than that this is a good line. Shot/Lift him off his feet was a pretty clean flip)
This was a tough battle to judge for me. You both had up and down verses to me. Both had very crisp execution, but some of the concepts I’ve seen before which took away from what otherwise would have been solid.
Zelph started out slow. That back to Africa bar wasn’t good - so you started off in the hole. YoI started heating up with the mr krabs but that baby carriage line was sick. I got that being LOTB. Ended the battle pretty consistent.
Body I though you started off solid. The middle too your verse is when it was more up and down. Had some high highs with the Hover the plate and the tribal necklace bar. You had some lows with the bald head bar and the longhorn bar.
I think you both were about even in consistency (both had highs and bars that were light) but I think Zelph had the higher highs.
I got Zelph squeaking out with the win.
Good battle fellas.
Mvgt Zelph
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