[dead man]

i'm

what the mirror reflects
when all your heroes are dead. forgive me. it's
my yearly regression. peering intensely
into bathtubs, sinkwater, seeking remembrance
weekly cleanses. blood of jericho, O jesus repent
salt in his sentences, ash in his fingers
garlic vinaigrette and salad for dinner, master pretender
novice authentic, bottom of the bottle for breakfast
lipstick collar your evidence, i'm lost for a second
found in a smokestack, gasping for air
life is always unfair, but that's an excuse. i'd rather we share
our personal shortages, our battles, our merits
celebrate our victories, acknowledge ourselves
our whats the matters, who cares, our whatever, it's fines
to quantify the ratios we measure us by
said our goodbyes on stairs we painted purple in Fall
i'm not unnerved, just feeling nervous is all
sweat in my palm. heart in my throat. talking in rotary
art in your jewelry. scars in your hosiery
i'm carbon and dopamine. i just want you to notice me
Jesus Mary and Josephine, asparagus, okra leaves
marry me openly. connect in every manner but socially
there's distance in space. our dynamic feels like Nasa promoted me
out in the open. starship collision our route
that mystery remains - we never figured it out
thats alright by all means if there's a light in the hallway
die like russian doll and live my life in a crawlspace
write me a song, my idols are gone, how do i mourn
for folks i only loved from afar. sorrows abstracted
we walked in borrowed jackets, bonsai gardens in tandem
communicate in tangents linked by all of our tragedies
part casualty, mostly survivor, lonely misguided
cold in crowded rooms and so emotional privately
soma delight, molting nightly, fleshy decay
putting pain on a pedestal like architectural remains
enter your framework. i'm a virus in heat
torn between a past and future out of our reach
as it is. half blitzed, full of passion and nicotine
language of love vs. mathematical symmetry
thats our predicament in a matter of moments
broke apart my rosary to shatter an omen
you're a word never spoken. gravestone dirt in my hand
throw it in the flames and watch us
dance





deadman