[dead man]

resistant

to change. only contented when consistence remains
alone and afraid. old friend of mine why didn't we make it
digital aegis. minimal effort, filling these pages
with words i'll reminisce until it physically pains me
let me restate.
you love a person long-cultivated
in bartabs, chronic self-hatred, false simulation
tongue of acid, crawl into space, longing to taste you
call me any time, in wintertime, to call me a name
help me
remember your face. it's slipping ever so calmly
wrapping up our history in yellow embalming
settling offhandedly we've never been farther, from
resolving our residual conflicts, so it has gone
and so it goes away. Amor de nameless. palms at your side
count lines like constellations cracking open the sky
uncork your wine. may it hollow your soul, follow me blindly
into any sense of closure you were hoping to find
last time i came by, you wouldn't let me inside
i fear that memory will haunt me when i die
as you were.
as you are, i'm a stranger in motion
4 blocks away and you're still mailing me photos. lady in opal
maiden of stone, unbreakable boulder, silencing phonecalls
i let it ring until i hear you on the voicemail recording.
my life is like a sad series of saturday mornings
waking up in dark apartments. my perpetual torture
mask like Hellraiser. it slips slow while i sip Jager
revealing ugliness and jealousy my primitive nature
sensitive major painful past-life indicative maybe
of trauma i confront on these reclusive vacations
so it is. let me breathe. we were settlers at sea
i craved the beach while you adventured on continuously
so it went, hanging ornaments from plastic and pine
place your hand in mine. calloused and dry
shaky and anxious. klonopin caplets, memory mattress
how do we manage? when all i
need is
a bandage.





dm