The second time in my life I really met the wall I was 19/20 years old (I'm 30 now). I've been through some rough shit too and it always seem impossible to manage while you're in the middle of the storm. It does calm down with the right outlook. Now, I'm not gonna say "just stay positive, smile to the world" and that kind of fucking ignorant bs but I will tell you this: get professional help, the right therapist will literally change your life if you often feel like you do in this post.
Like Witty I am now also a year off of my medication. It took way too long before I reached out, gave a couple therapists "we don't get along, plz refer to someone else" and got one I owe my life to. Set up an appointment woth your doc and get shit going, regain control of your life and emotional stability, it's possible. I mean, your brain isn't even fully developed yet so a lot of things can happen on its own when it comes to personal growth and improvements in your 20s.
Keep fighting the good fight, and keep your head up bro. Feel free to pm whenever if you ever feel desperate or just want to talk. There's people around that care, even here. We (those that care) got your back.
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I'm not a slave for entertainment, I'm entertainments personal slave,
So deep into writing I'm concerned bout the text on my grave.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=gV8ozGcGJ6o
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