This was a white wash in my opinion but happy to give constructive feedback @
Incredible if my opinion is of interest
Plz explain why u got banned fgt, figures u duck on the reveal
It's like when u meet a chick for the first time prayin she doesn't squeal
I'm totally lost by this bar. Arguably I like making a bitch do that. That means she enjoyed the two in the pink one in the stink
Anyway this bar had no wordplay that I can see. No metaphor or idiom or double meaning. It's not insulting even as a statement. I'm not entirely sure what this is. A personal reference at best but not even a good angle an if it was you did little with it.
U wouldn't throw hands without a badge got no balls for dem skinny jeans
Only thing squeezin around u is my finger &&& u callin "I need backup plz!!"
ok I get this one. Set up is he's skinny an hasn't got balls. Punch is cus your so skinny my finger could choke you out and instead of fight the good fight your a balless peice of lippy trash an would ring your boys in blue. I also get the squeezing word was specifically chosen to follow on from set up
However.. it is just weak. It's not very insulting. The imagery is almost cartoonist in its execution. It's better then the opener but it's still very weak
This monster face loves when it's autumn, yeah Halloween time!!
People comparin make up n' he goes as is "hey guys what u think about mine?"
he goes as is... That was just sloppy. An given the set up which was at least a ok angle you really dampened anything you might have had with a very statemenish way of saying he is ugly without make up? Presume that was the idea here
Them weird videos, deformed face, etc etc u ain't from a good home
So I got that strap ready on the shoulder & I'm no skate boarder w/ a broken bone
I'm starting to regret doing a break down. I don't see how the punch ties into the set up at all.
My squads loyal, don't talk to cops, never here us thru their speakers
Guess God IS just one of us, he decided not to give this cop any lip either
praise be to Jesus. This was an actual bar. Don't get me wrong even 5 of these would of lost to zelph who came very consistent I thought in this battle, but this is the bar you should use as a template for future writing. Set up and punch tie in. The execution is good as I didn't see where your going with it until that last half of the second line and then punch baby. Yes. Do more of these.
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As for Zelph, consistent showing an a white wash win. Bob's tea was my least favourite by a mile. Opener was a solid nameplay. The Mr incredibe line was a funny personal with nameplay ties in. Very good. Closer was definitely LOTB. And finally - I liked the theme of kids movies as an added personal to your target. That was subtle and nice.
Vote Z