*Opening a gas station door for an older woman*
Her: Aww, you're sweet!
Me: That's 'cause when I was born my mother rolled me around in a barrel of sugar.
Her: *smiles* Well, it worked!!!
Me: *straight face* I almost died...
Her: *stops smiling, walks into gas station, and never engages with me again*
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Drunk in the club, let a nigga say somethin'...
I'll have him fall victim like the nigga base jumpin',
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