[sral]

Let’s break this seemingly unbeatable in Zelph and Ryno’s opinion verse down right quick:



uses a tourniquet*an a swab, yo white as fuck from the smack!
such a slave to the poppy your picking cotton to remind you your black

The poppy/heroin thing is nothing new. Picking cotton racism bullshit is really the low hanging fruit of text to me and been done countless times. I’m not completely against it 100%, I can find the fun in the line if it’s something creative and fresh. The line isn’t done humourously or even worded so it had any sting, it’s just kind of... there. It goes nowhere. And last but not least I’M NOT FUCKING BLACK, I’M WHITE AS SNOW. It doesn’t apply to me. Okay, maybe he’s implying all drug addicts are black which is a wild assumption to me considering we have 2Crip, Finnt and Strika here. But alas, the line generally isn’t good and has no redeeming qualities to me. It’s a statement line that ultimately has no payoff to it, funny or otherwise, and falls completely flat. As an opening bar it fails even more so IMO, sets him off to a bad start before he’s even begun. It’s worded weakly, uncreative, and doesn’t know what type of line it wants to be IMHO.


hangs out on street corners, gettin yo fix by sucking off men
jealous of a hooker cus she can wash her crack an use it again

I mean, really? At least this one attempted some sort of humour but you can’t tell me for a second even with Drug Addicts as an opponent that crack/asscrack hasn’t been done before. Jesus. This is surely down there with defeat and cum lines at this point. It’s so fucking basic and wack conceptually I literally can’t believe anyone ate this up. This idea wouldn’t even enter my head in the thought process because it’s just readily established that these lines have all been played and used up to death at this point. Do you know how long text has been happening? Do you even know how many times this crack play would have been done? It’s legit older than some boarders here (shoutout Lenox and Bolo). This shit is OLD motherfucker. It should never be used. I can appreciate the at least attempt at humour but I just can’t look past how unoriginal and played thus shot is. You guys are legit dumb as fuck for liking that IMHO.


bones already poke through his skin before I slaughter this Ethiopian
one walks 5 miles for water, he'll go wherever the Needle take him

OH GREAT SO NOW IM ETHIOPIAN FOR SOME REASON OUT OF NOWHERE TO MAKE IT RHYME? Great, plus we all know how those ETHIOPIANS have so much food money to waste that they just can’t wait to form a drug habit with all their HARD EARNED CASH they have to just THROW AWAY on drug binges, right? FUCK FOOD, EAT DRUGS. Idiots. This shit makes no sense at all to me, the “one walks 5 miles for water” has nothing to do with the rest of the bar. It’s cringeworthy bad. Complete filler. The only thing here is the needle/Need’ll wordplay but without any kind of tie-in to make it work somehow, it’s just wordplay for wordplays sake in yet another line that uktimtely goes nowhere with no sting and offers nothing creatively, originally, or any kind of sting to it wording wise. It’s just... there. It falls flat. There’s no connection, no tie-in for the wordplay at all, the needle doesn’t even apply to the walls 5 miles for water bullshit. Read it. Tell me I’m wrong. It’s a wack fucking line that goes nowhere.

no self worth he's just a broke jerk who will never make shit
bitch face it...your such an addict if I threw a Smack you'd happily take it!

WOW so we’ve covered crack/asscrack earlier, and no we arrive at Smack as in Heroin and an actual SMACK in the face. This lines a smack in the face to anyone that ever took their pen seriously. It’s yet more elementary basic wordplay that has been done time and time again, it wasn’t great the first time it was done in 1997 and what do you know... it still isn’t almost 30 years later. The amount of smack lines done before is just innumerable at this point. Everyone has done it. Smack rappers have done it recently, it’s still played out as fuck and needs to be avoided. I legit can’t fathom how people are using these, and even less so how garbage wordplays like these are getting props in 2018. Jeez. This is not good, I don’t give a fuck if this your first year of text or your tenth - everyone worth their salt knows this shit is absolute trash. Dumpster juice. Not worth anyone’s time. It’s legit another of those wack ass played concepts that wouldn’t even come to my mind when writing because I just automatically know they’re fucking trash and avoid them like the plague. Honestly, this shit is LAUSBLE to me for entirely all the wrong reasons. The fact it got props is so bad.

drugs got him feeling super, thinks he the strongest bitch to exist
not a hero jus cus Mary Jane the heroine to ya story an u Shoot from the wrist

This is legit one of the better ideas from the verse, I keep it 100% real at all times, I liked this one. It’s your best. It was clunky wording wise because you tried so much, but I at least appreciated that you went hard putting it together. Mary Jane for weed has been done, and this did seem like you recycled it from the Marvel round early on. Almost like you had the concept in mind and chose to sit on it, you got Drug Addicts this round and realised it was semi applicable. You lucked out, IMHO, but I did feel this was your best and I’m not afraid to say that.

give this addict a quick Hit, he won't feel it til next week!
a slap so hard palm readers can see his future bleak by his red cheek

I dunno about this one, I’ve seen the imagery done before, it could be a reference to Bleak from here that I just don’t get at all but it could not be. From the votes it seemed like no one else understood it either. Again, the wording is clunky, conceptually these imagery type lines have been done like “Slap you so hard, my fingerprints are on your skeleton,” etc. It’s nothing new, and the wording does it no favours, it doesn’t land well enough to hit either to me. It’s another case of the line being there but that’s just about it. No impact. No zing. No humour. There’s not even humor to it unless Bleak is involved without us all knowing. Fuck it. I don’t like it. Voters didn’t either. I can’t be missing much.

gave a penny for his thoughts..he spent it on the closest crack being dealt..
going clean?! E such a loser for the skag he sees a hoover for its Bag, Pipe n Belt!

Who the fuck is E? I’m not E anyone, no idea what you were doing with that. The concept was a bit better here than you have had, the worded again kind of took away from its impact, it needed to either be harsher or funnier and ended up neither - stuck somewhere in the middle not knowing what it was meant to be. It’s one of your more creative lines, but again lacks sting. I’d probably just give it an “Okay,” tbh and keep it moving.

cus u bout that Rock look, shook black bitch all itchy n vile..
shit your one Hit away from his New Jack City smile

OH I’M BLACK AGAIN NOW? Fantastic, love that, well done. This line goes nowhere. Wack conceptually, doesn’t deliver anything, falls completely flat likethe opening line IMHO and especially as a closer for the verse this is poor as guck. No creativity. Nothing fresh. No impact. The verse just fizzles out to nothing of note. Forgettable bar overall and ends of the poor note it started.


Please breakdown how this verse was best what I put up in any way, I don’t see it at all. This shit is garbage. I’d love to hear your opinions on what’s so fantastic about this verse bar for bar.