but nah of course i've changed. not mentally though. im still the same piece of shit i just don't put myself in position to be a piece of shit anymore.
also i want to say im not concerned with others perceptions of me, but i guess that is exactly it. this instance for example, in my head this person should see me as a piece of shit, but they don't. which complicates things because i'm a genuinely likable dude. which is stupid to say, but i feel like everyone wants to be my friend and i hate it. but anyways i think its alot of guilt in the sense that they shouldn't like me but they do. and then enlightenment. thanks doggie. i don't like myself so i don't get why others do.
boom