[uh-oh]

my strategy is

forget about it
move on
be better

which works until your reminded of it.

the whole forgiveness thing is probably the correct route. i was a legit scumbag THO. and i have my credo's and rules to life, where i wouldn't forgive others for said misdeeds, so if i was to forgive my own actions it would be hypocritical. at the same time i've made amends, which is supposed to clear the conscience somewhat, but not really

in reality its mainly just scumbag violence and thievery, general loser debauchery. but fucking over people who thought they were my friends but werent type scenarios.

today i ran into a peripheral friend of a certain scenario where someone we both know was a victim of my youthful retardation. it was just a casual oh watsup dude hows shit going scenario nothing to do with anything but it brought it all back up and i was miserable afterward because i was confronted by old demons. like he had nothing to do with anything other than i knew him from when i was scum

oh well. tis life, eh