Hell’s alignment laminates the sky from fallen angels of apathy.
nice. folklore**
That line stood out to me. Overall, this was pretty okay. I think a better structure would make for a smoother read. The rhyming was probably the best part about it. I think with a more intriguing rhyme scheme, things would just come off better. The piece was pretty simple, to be honest. I think the overall context was good, it just came off basic due to the technicalities of the verse. If you brushed up on all these little aspects, I think you're capable of writing some pretty slick stuff.
Mr. J, cool verse.
Time stops, there is nothing more to be said from here on.
What is right appears wrong. With a lack of clear thought.
Even though the rhyme is a little off, going from first bar to the internal was a strange transition, but followed by the end rhyme, it came together pretty smoothly. The closer wrapped things up pretty well too. Besides that, I wasn't really impressed.
Mr. J dropped a decent verse compared to an okay verse. Technically, Mr. J's just read better since it was put together better. As far as content, I'd go with Lenox but overall, Mr. J was just more solid. Not sure if the extension was granted but,
vMr. J
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