[Adonis]

Lime - I wasn't a big fan of the opening stanza, I felt the wording jumbled the scheme in a way that made it a bit fumbled in a sense.

I wish you chose a different rhyme then bones to start the verse, everything after that rhymes nice, but you forgot the opening line.

A tale of a drowning man who maybe tried to kill himself? Your story mentioned cupid linking to the story but you nevery truly opened that door as far as stories concerned. The drowning man had a vision of a demon or an ancient such as posiden given the zeus (sends* nit since?) reference. I enjoyed the story as a whole, and didn't get caught up on the flow other than the opening bit as well as opening line, which is sort of huge for me. Other than that the story was cool and captivating regardless if you mentioned zeus and cupid in passing with no direct link to any substance beyond there names. I enjoyed this read none the less.


Flow - Good god, that first bar.... I think "endure" is the word you were looking for....Sodden and rotten stench gets a thumbs up though...


A story about a...I think the word is "Simp?" - *confirmed in urban dictionary* who struggles with being the abused in a relationship. Sort of depressing, not only is this not my cup of tea, but you also had a few errors in wording as far as tense and grammar go, it made it less enjoyable honestly.




v/ Limedisease cuz his concept was more in my wheel house and I think he had the better execution and ironically, flow, due to circumstance.