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Old 10-07-2018, 08:29 PM   #5
Sharp
HE / HIM / FRAC
 
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: PA
Posts: 11,592
Battle Record: 56-21

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I'm torn

gunbar vs gunbar, I'd give hush the distinct edge, but as far as technical writing goes, JD was definitely cleaner. imo, you can be flexible with the syllables but its always better to go under the syllable count - more usually feels clunky. Thought that JD making 2 out of each 3 lines rhyme was unnecessary but it made the first one a smooth read

The fact that the first letter of each row spells out 'gun bar god' is kind of impressive to me, in that it's a chain email style trick but it didn't feel like a single line suffered at all - felt weirdly natural for setting that up.

Again, torn, cause there's a strong case to be made for both, but I give Dillinger the edge for the technical skill in the writing but still being fun to read. Hush still had an okay showing so I could see votes going his way (also idk how this league works)

v/JD
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