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Old 10-01-2018, 08:20 PM   #6
Inno
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 10,005
Battle Record: 26-54


Champed
- Lime Green Poetry Association
- Black August
- 1-2 Punch League

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JD

Much better this week broski, like lars said you have this battlers mentality mixing in with the traditional topical format. I enjoyed how you put together your story while taking all the important aspects of the picture. I thought you captured the photo very well man, complete change from last week. Kudos, you got the spirit of s topical writer with the chops of battlers. Only thing I suggest is to stay at this pace don’t try to chew more than you can handle. This week you showed you can put together a well thought out story while maintaining your originality.

Bleak

You dropped some dope ish here. I mean it was a good read with nice flow and progression to your story. You had good diction with some pretty good imagery, only thing is for me, I don’t see the picture in your verse at all. Maybe I missed or I don’t get it, but what you wrote doesn’t coincide Witt the picture. That’s probably where you lost this battle because technically you have a better verse than JD. It’s just he put together a more clearer verse that picked at the topic, while you went a little more abstract and got lost in the translation. Enjoyed your verse Bleak.


JD WINS
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