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John Dillinger · 10-01-2018, 10:26 AM

Diablo - Dope story from Plot’s perspective. You took what we knew about his situation and told it from his eyes. The short lines were simple but effective, the liver scarring part was dope. Kind of took you in the mind of an alcoholic. Which unfortunately I can relate to a bit. Ending was cool as well. Overall nice piece on a relevant topic here at NC

Bolo - Started off & the wording was kinda rough, didn’t flow that well. Cave walls part was tight. Crimson shirt and cargos part was cool too. But the wording was just choppy throughout. The story was good but the ending just ruined it. Coulda been a lot better. A lotttt better. And the last bar was mad stretched compared to the rest of it. It wasn’t bad but I think Diablo did better with the topic presented.

V/Diablo

10-01-2018, 10:26 AM	#7
John Dillinger Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Posts: 1,112 Battle Record: 8-7 Accomplishments -NBL Pic Roast Champed -Netcees Writers League Rep Power: 10281360	Diablo - Dope story from Plot’s perspective. You took what we knew about his situation and told it from his eyes. The short lines were simple but effective, the liver scarring part was dope. Kind of took you in the mind of an alcoholic. Which unfortunately I can relate to a bit. Ending was cool as well. Overall nice piece on a relevant topic here at NC Bolo - Started off & the wording was kinda rough, didn’t flow that well. Cave walls part was tight. Crimson shirt and cargos part was cool too. But the wording was just choppy throughout. The story was good but the ending just ruined it. Coulda been a lot better. A lotttt better. And the last bar was mad stretched compared to the rest of it. It wasn’t bad but I think Diablo did better with the topic presented. V/Diablo Last edited by John Dillinger; 10-01-2018 at 11:00 AM.