DIABLO - "Well probably not" got a chuckle. The inversion of 'Message in a Bottle' was a nice way to take a topic that could so easily be written as a trope. The rhymes, as usual, were good throughout. The 'problem' repetition was well done. Overall, I think the Plot tie in was pretty funny at first, but since no one knows anything about him as a person you kind of ran out of ammo. Not to say the piece itself lost steam, it didn't, but it could've been funnier if Plot had any personality to speak of. Well written regardless.
BIG BOLO - The 'God' repetition was weird and pointless. The rhymes were just okay. The message in the bottle being a dig at your opponent was lame, to me. Try having your writing stand on it's own as opposed to relying on twists and meta competitive ideas. You're not getting the shock factor you're looking for. If you really wanted to go this route it'd work better if you revealed the message from the jump and clowned him in topical form. Almost like Diablo did Plot!
I think Diablo took this pretty easy both conceptually and technically.
v/ Diablo
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Netcees 2025 Revivalist Movement Founder
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