Dope battle fellas.
Dy the interview wp is nice. Tied in perfect to the sit you down with the bald head part. Both phrases combined to a dope flip. Only critique is the set up didn’t have anything to do with the punch. If you do that I think you need some sort of transition to tell the readers “I’m moving on to a different concept”. Anyways dope punch overall.
Bleak came with it as well. Belly to belly was a nice tie in. German style was nice to me because it tied in to both the duplex scheme and the burning part in the set up. Only critique is the set up is choppy to me. Think you should went with simpler wording with the “top it’s capping off the burning pile” but I see you were going for a nice rhyme scheme. Because of this, it took a few reads for me to catch everything and get where the punch was going. Nice punch overall though.
Overall I thought this was a really dope battle. I think it’s much closer than th votes show so far but I got Dy edging this one.
Mvgt DynamiCz
|