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Old 09-15-2018, 10:55 PM   #6
Split Eight
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 1,632
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- Haiku Writers Challenge

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Quote:
I'd ask you who the best is, but that's rhetorical
this is Agent Smith with the eyes of the Oracle
swimming in a Lazarus pit looking for immortal youth
I used to be so cordial too...you can't afford a truce
go 'head bring the fortress through, I'll torch your troops
abort the youth, make the most loyal woman courtship too.
I'm the lord to you, full vision couldn't get QwarterZ views
take 12 with everyone that ever supported you
& now I know how you picked the name Quarterz

I liked this especially the quoted part. Super clean rhymes and schemes, I thought. I'm rusty so that doesn't hold much water.

Some lines seemed hastily written/ spit out just to keep it moving, like "bitches break their neck for the freshest dick", like I get what you're saying but the wording just strikes a dissonant chord. But I know you focus on the flow and like to keep it off the top, so no complaints with that in mind

Keep writing Q
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PancakeBrah View Post
I'm going to start off on a tangent.

when I write, lately, I feel as if I begin by stringing together ambient ideas and concepts, then i realize I'm just typing the words coffee, tawdry, and autumn over and over and over, again, then I pass out dru-
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