I agree a lot with what pancake was saying. You developed the character disaster really well I thought. The introduction and parts of the middle of the verse was dope. Had great imagery, descriptive wording, and great formatting. U were connecting with me and then somewhere in the middle to end the story was lost. You set up a perfect scenario about this horse and rider.
It seems as it was forced or a little lackadaisical... Not going to hate here cause I give up on stories too if I get disinterested in them. But also like cake said bro you need some sort of twist.. There was some sort of one its just wasn't money. It was aight but not not anything like wow I didn't see that coming. Overall this was good and there was some things I liked and some things I did not. Three years ago u weren't bad and next time I'd put that somewhere in there before I post...
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