My new gun'll catch a body. I’m up in ATL just to spray son
U’ll see the Hawk on ur chest Sooner than later...nigga this Trae Young
(So this would have been a good punch but if seen a few Trae Young/Hawks flips. That took away from the impact a lot. Worded well but feels old even though it’s a relatively current event)
But if we’re talking drive-bys...then I got ur head in my range
So I’ma roll up & put a 'nickel in ur mug' cuz ur life is begging for change
(Kinda same as before. Worded well. Roll up ties in well but nickel in your mug panhandling/beggings been done a few times. Took away from the impact for me)
My burner will send rounds down ur lane w/a bowler handle
So if sun rolls up...then I’ma let him 'absorb more heat' than a solar panel
(Bet, now we cooking. This line was dope! Punching in the set up is always going to be impressive to me. That wouldn’t be good enough to be it’s on line but as a set up I liked it. The punch itself was dope. Son roll up is nice tie in. Absorb more heat than solar panel is nice)
U smelled the belt for a week but that'll all be a blur soon
To me a shipment...putting u in a hearse & scent in a box like perfume
(Nice - this was witty. Smelled the belt is nice tie in. You got the personal touch which is a plus. ‘Shipment’ wp is nice to me. Scent in a box is technically a triple meaning (shipment/box/hearse) which is really dope and really good writing. Really good line)
Shit, if ‘Dy rolls’...it’ll be an execution cuz my straps realer
This stick will push ur shit back to the end of the table like a craps dealer
(This was pretty good. Die roll is fine. ‘Stick will push your shit back’ is dope. My critique is ‘to the end of the table’ doesn’t really have any connection or tie in. Kinda of just hanging. Overall pretty good)
Put up ur wifey in a bet. Cuz if u really wanna battle, fuck it
By nightfall, she’ll be howling as I’m ‘doggin the walls’ like a shadow puppet
(I like how this tied into the last line. The punch itself was just a jab though imo. Dog in the walls/shadow puppet isn’t the cleanest flip. It’s creative though which is why I have this landing)
I got my arm extended to ur throat...nigga, ur soul’s mine
After '2 clips leave him hanging by a thread' like he ran into my clothesline
(This is pretty good. Hanging by a thread is a nice, creative attack angle - that phrase doesn’t get flipped much. You flipped a pretty long phrase too which is impressive. Thought you shoulda ended it different gab “like you ran into my clothesline”. Feel like that doesn’t really give he visual that you were going for. I’m guessing your options were limited because you couldn’t use “hang” again. This was pretty good though)
I’m taking bets & ur waving the white flag. Boy, u'll die first
Cuz we know where everybody’s Cashius...& it’s nowhere near Diverse
(Creative idea. Took a sec for me too catch this one. Partly because the white flag and you’ll die first is unrelated to the punch. Diverse/racists/Cashius flip was a bit loose imo but it still landed)
Stick bigger than ur family tree. It’ll clap till ur dome is blown
I’ll plant miCz & put his seeds in the air like the Bird Lady in Home Alone
(Lol this is nice. Stick bigger than family tree is funny and it ties in nice. Home alone references was cool. Plant miCz is really solid for a tie in. Good line)
Flow, JB & now Dy...I left all these niggas dead from the mag
I’m like a vendor collectin coins how I’m leaving w/ all these heads in a bag
(This was one of you lightest if not the lighted bar. Heads on a coin wasn’t a strong enough association for this bar. It like technically worked but it kinda didn’t. Thought this was really light at best)
Lets stop the jiving...Jabari Black name flips kept you surviving
When i flip somethin! The machine lift body in the air--Indoor skydiving
(This was dope. Like how you had a personal touch in the set up. He punch itself was nice. Overall good line. Good opener)
You gotta prove me! All my friends dead when i slide this Lil Uzi
When i give a couple clips inside the whip, it ain't a Drive In Movie
(This was a jab. I coulda done without the lil uzi part - just seen it way too much. Clips/movie flips been done A LOT. The ‘couple’ and ‘inside the whip’ was good though and really elevated the punch. Had enough going on for this to land)
Never forget! When i carry the stick, don't even question legit
I get to aiming the shit....that mean the gun on body like a weapon permit
(Could have cleaned up the wording but this punch landed. Gun on body is cool but wasn’t the craziest flip - a bit simple. You coulda chose a phrased that helped the double meaning more than ‘like a weapon permit’. This was a jab)
The nina bad as a model..I fire! The bullet cooking out the knozzle
This light ain't for charcoal! I'll have his top red like a Kingsford bottle
(Yep this was nice. Set this one up well. Fire, cooking was pretty good tie ins. Kings ford bottle part was fire. This is nice)
AR hang like a midget down my calf! I keep the pole low like Ralph
Gun butt...leave body structure in dents like i started a paragraph
(This is creative. Lol super simple but I liked the polo in the set up. ‘Body structure indents’ isn’t the cleanest wording for that phrase but I thought it was good. Creativity elevated this one)
Im in the streets..State Trooper! See you in traffic..i will shoot ya
Spot his 2 door..an lean the can over the sunroof like the Redbull Mini Cooper
(Yeah this is fire. Not much to critique, liked everything down to the set up)
Glad you made it this far! I take the hostage route when i plug a star
Big ass rope....that u'll pull bodies across the surface like tug of war
(This was light at best to me. Wording/execution wasn’t good on this one. Wording aside, this one would still be a fairly basic flip. You coulda did much better with the concept)
I can spot BS a mile away...lurker! Watching Phone Booth helped this murder
In the window with a sniper...looking through more scopes then a biolab worker
(This is cool. Look through scoops like biolab worker is a pretty basic flip as well. I haven’t seen Phone Booth so I coulda missed some tie ins but I think this was just a tie in to the sniper part which is cool. Still landed, but light)
U'll need a eulogy! Big bully...right before he die im snatching his jewelry
The laser tag him...when i flash lights in the building like mall security
(Lol I like this one. The flip is funny and it’s pretty slick. The set up was nice. Good bar)
You see what im holding..looking like a medieval knight when im strolling
The blade come out in the shop! I let it chop body down like the car stolen!
(So if this was the our only body flip this would have hit harder. The flip is good but it’s diluted a bit, especially since Body is a pretty easy name to flip. Overall, solid closer. Chop down body is pretty good)
This was a dope battle. Definitely lived up to my expectations and both guys proved that the deserve to be here.
Body your verse was dope.
Started it slightly slow imo. Not because the bars were bad but they were concepts I’ve seen/played. You started heating up with the sick solar panel bar though.
I feel like you e drifted from the complexity and the intricate tie ins these past few weeks, but it was back in full force for this battle. The scent bar was sick. That’s really good, multidimensional writing. Felt like your bars had the complete package. Even if the punches weren’t crazy, still had tie ins to elevate the bar.
You also took some risk and decided to add a few bars that weren’t attack lines. I will say I think your gun bars outshined your bars like the diverse bar and the coin machine bar but I don’t think this is a bad strategy since you know Dy coming with all gun bars.
Dy started wiggin out the gate. The skydiving bar was creative. Just complexity speaking, Body def had the edge, by the creativity and the imagery was so good your punches were landing and hard.
You sometimes struggle with wording, but I think this was one of the high points of your round. Your wording saved a few of your lines, like the chopped body line and he couple get a clip in the whip line. Then you had bars like the Red Bull can where the wording down to the set up was really crisp and it made those punches land hard.
Downside is the Body flips got REALLY repetitive for me. It was a bit odd too because you attacked body for going no heavy in your first bar.
This one is neck and neck to me. I think consistency wise each had a miss a piece. Body’s was the closer and Dy’s was the tug of war line. LOTB is pretty close. I thought the Red Bull line was crazy but I have the solar panel and perfume liner extremely close behind it.
After multiple reads and multiple scoring system, I think the slow for body’s the only difference. Those first two lines weren’t bad but I just couldn’t score them that high. This one was really close by I got Dy edging this one.
Mvgt DynamiCz
Great work fellas
|