View Single Post
Old 08-12-2018, 10:46 PM   #16
dead man
living
 
dead man's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 3,469
Battle Record: 33-18

Accomplishments
- Hall of Fame

Champed
- AOWL Season 1
- Art of Writing League
- AOWL Season 4
- Write Week V
- GWL Season 1

Rep Power: 77606676
dead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant future
Default

some of this was pretty fucking cool. i think the sheer length of the piece hurt you a bit here. you had so much content available you were kind of throwing out there without focusing intently on any one remnant. stylistically, this almost made me nostalgic for the type of god-complex braggadocio writing that is so damn fun to do. also introduced and played around with some interesting, sometimes strange, sometimes even resonant ideas.

Or chasing butterflies in June with your cousins at the zoo.

on the universal totem
every spirit has a modem. Thus, suggesting a connection
to a neurological .. network so complex it makes up an avatar.


Quote:
The mosquito and the wasp both share the same goal.
To evolve at any cost. Charles Darwin is at fault.
Cause 'Survival of the fittest' is a theory proven false.
why do you say this?

a sickness of the mind engineered to keep you caught
in a web made of lies by the spiders in your thoughts.
That convince you that you're lost in a mental holocaust.
Or the Synagogue of Sodom where the sinners are assaulted
near the pillars made of salt


quoted were some of my favorite sections. yeah, ultimately kind of rambly and stream of conscious - although epic in its proportions - but some of my favorite is writing like that. prose or otherwise



thanks!
__________________
Zack Wicks for president
dead man is offline   Reply With Quote