Your writing reads a bit like a mysterious lens passing over various vignettes that have some semblance of interrelation, even if it isn't easily given to the reader. Like Mulholland Drive in verse. As a method, it allows you a great creative license, which you do utilize. There's poetic attention to the finer details of a scene, then piercing introversion, and then some unnerving commentary:
frozen peaks, molten beneath. we die so vultures can eat
open deeply, soul discrete. woven woefully neatly
we're strangers with our lovers from the moment we meet
this stood out to me. The first line is very succinct, the second continues the dichotomy, the third gives pause for thought. That's good. Grouping adjectives too closely together can create a weird aural effect when you sound it out, however. Anyway, thanks for looking at my work and sharing this one.
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