Bar solid punch. It flowed well and I really like the concept. Most be punch was nice but I think the phrase “last thing u'll see is a round nose on the trey” is worded poorly. With that wording, i can’t tell if your referring to a bullet or the barrel...either one technically wouldn’t make sense....bullet would make the most sense though so that’s what I assumed. Might seem nitpicky but that’s my honest feed. The punch was pretty cool though - the concept carried it.
DMS your definitely on the right track. You were setting up the punch well. I think the concept had a lot of potential, but it fell flat at the end. You had the subtle bags/ghost flip but there want really a punch. Also, with it being so long - it felt like it was a long buildup to a missed punch. You’re definitely finding your style and I think you’ll be a problem if you keep adapting and improving.
However, I think Bar takes this comfortably.
Good work fellas.
|