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Vulgar · 07-28-2018, 08:21 PM

Nicely said, @big baby.
dead man I also thought you offered those moments of truth and they remind me of an anime character's swift and effective responsive attacks against an adversary -- which are in slow motion so it heightens the intensity and emphasizes the importance of the retaliation. I think the lower case font and the consistent use of action verbs (and other things, I forget the language arts terms!) also support that you're aiming to entertain but also have this inclusive way of bringing the audience into the verse.

sober visionary, lamenting on the woes of his mind
bare witness to gradual yet total decline
^The diction is smooth and the content punchy.

What I thought this was about: the witchcraft of casual life. The things that sneak up on you in suburbia that can make a 9-to-5 seem apocalyptic. A cool conceptual exercise combining themes of pain, braggadocio, and cultural references.

07-28-2018, 08:21 PM	#4
Vulgar Razor-thin derision Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,422 Battle Record: 40-25 Accomplishments - OM HOF Champed - Fight Night LIV - Gimmick Battle League (2x) - Write Week II - Art of Writing League - Storytelling And Topical Invitational Tournament - STI - Haiku Writer Challenge - GWL Picture Challenge(2x) Rep Power: 49604320	Nicely said, @big baby. dead man I also thought you offered those moments of truth and they remind me of an anime character's swift and effective responsive attacks against an adversary -- which are in slow motion so it heightens the intensity and emphasizes the importance of the retaliation. I think the lower case font and the consistent use of action verbs (and other things, I forget the language arts terms!) also support that you're aiming to entertain but also have this inclusive way of bringing the audience into the verse. sober visionary, lamenting on the woes of his mind bare witness to gradual yet total decline ^The diction is smooth and the content punchy. What I thought this was about: the witchcraft of casual life. The things that sneak up on you in suburbia that can make a 9-to-5 seem apocalyptic. A cool conceptual exercise combining themes of pain, braggadocio, and cultural references.