THIS is lookin tragic. everyone after tic been pushin average
but thats an incredible accomp u got
for real, without ^him u wouldnt have it
(I’m feeling the personal angle. The incredible/flip is pretty old but this is a good personal angle. Pretty good opener)
im advanced and elite, this man aint the beast barc is
anyone calling Body Fluid shouldve seen his pants when the wk started
(So the second meaning on this wp just wasn’t there imo. The body fluid/pee on hisself meaning is fine but the ‘anyone calling him fluid’ part isn’t there. By that, I mean there’s no tie in to as why folks would be calling him fluid (unless fluid is some slang that I didn’t get))
ill dislodge his chin, drop him quick & intrust a drive home
u wont see BST off when i knock him into another timezone
(I liked this. Hadn’t heard of bst before this bar but I think it’s a dope reference and not forced cus we got some Brits in here. Wp is smooth and tied it in well. Good bar)
nothing he does is purposeful. hes the worst n im killin it
im not Anti Body, i just hope he dont fight off terminal illnesses
(This one is okay at best. The name play would have been cool but ending it with “i just hope he dont fight off terminal illnesses” makes it feel just forced in there. Feel pretty much the same as I do about the body fluid bar)
ill pour lead thru ya cornbread bro, believe me
ima wave the stick, then paint ya forehead. no rafiki
(This is dope)
as far as skill in lines, mine will shoulder the load
i won when Bodychecked. everything he tries goes over the board
(This is a nice line. Good wp and name flip. The subtle tie ins really elevated this bar though. In lines and shoulder the load were slick. Only critique is ‘over the board’ is a slight stretch/awkwardly worded, but overall this is nice)
yall obviously kno im winning n im already gripping on the purse
s'nothin exciting about u n IBS, or me uncontrollably shitting on ur verse
(Pretty good as well. Concept a little weird to me but the wp checks out and you worded it well too)
im sayin ur flop. idve taken u off the show
Hooka stand up to barc? iunno but not this fgt who got the smoke
(This is a miss to me. Hooka wasn’t the most creative wp to begin with but you fumbled it with the way you ended the punch)
I heard ur a legend...truthfully you are mislabeled
But it’s a 1-click fix to ‘take an icon out’ & leave this toolbar disabled
(This is a dope scheme here. One click fix was a good tie in, tool bar was a nice name play/wp, and take an icon out is good too. Overall this is really good writing)
I got Barbells ringing…but let me stress the facts
I’ll air out his lungs & put enuff ‘pressure oncotic’ until his chest collapse
(I coulda done with out the barbells flip but but that oncotic flip was dope. I personally haven’t seen a cotic flip so that felt very fresh. Air out his lungs is a good tie in. Good bar)
Hands dirtier than tar carryin w/ the firepower of a Targaryen
I’ll kill u & laugh when it’s ur Mother Dragon ur casket before the barbarian
(You had a good bit going on but this was just okay. Once again, the tie ins were good, but dragging/dragon flip has been done so much you gotta come out with something crZy for it to work. Just okay here)
This Urban Legend came w/a Hook, no hollow beam
So keep that same ‘energy Bar’ & I’ll put a razor in u like myths on Halloween
(Ahh this pretty dope. ‘Myths in Halloween’ coulda been worded a bit more concisely imo but I’m feeling the reference and be punch. Energy bar was basic in and of itself but the way you flipped it was really good)
The double entendre here is that I aim & lock torpedos
If he ‘opened fire on the corner’ he’s on the curb eating flaming hot Doritos
(Lol! This ain’t that great of a punch but this was funny. This is somewhere between okay and a light jab)
I worked around the clock for this specific crime
& when the coast is clear, I’ma roll up on Bar w/ 1:40 Cal like Pacific time
(This is another pretty impressive scheme. This is good writing. You got the around the clock tie in, the coast tie in, then the punch itself. Good writing. Pretty dope)
I’ve been Baying for blood, so throw in all ur towels geek
Cuz I’ll let Bar Harbor a secret to the grave after I let his Maine valve leak
(This prob would’ve hit but I’m not quite catching the reference even with googling. I’m assuming bar harbor is in Maine and I’m seeing the car/valve leak tie ins. Can’t judge this bar though)
I’m violent sir - the official gun whispering licensor
So ‘hold it down & get hit in the chest 2 times’ - I’m Lebron w/ The Silencer
(Lol I didn’t know this was called the silencer but this is pretty dope. I woulda caught it without the gif but still good. Only critique is ‘hold it down’ seems a bit forced even though the phrase technically checks out. Good overall)
This was a solid showing for both. While I think Barc was good - he’s come with cleaner wording and more creative word plays this season than this.
I think Body came in much more motivated and it showed. Body is really becoming a complex writer. I thought he’s been different from other punchers by his subtle tie ins and schemes but he’s gotten much better at executing and wording them without feeling forced. This was a good showing from you with a few standout punches.
I do think this battles a bit closer than the votes show much I got Body taking his one.
Mvgt Body
|