i stopped dms for a dui, no surprise there..
but the nigger was dressed worse then the cut from one night in.. Paris's Hair
(....here this nigga go again....whatever. This was a very obscure reference. I googled it and found out you were talking about some rapper who doesn’t have much of a following. Gotta use references people are going to get. I still didn’t understand the punch though)
or maybe it was britney spears social network got me forget..
like i run around with hit me up DMS just to connect..
(I think this was a DMs/direct message flip. You def gotta tighten up your wording. This was a miss)
i be turning myspace until i grind out the dot
i plan to rot so my plot is futile against a cat that got stuck on capital LOCKED
(It flowed nice but your first priority gotta be crafting a punch that’s clever and makes sense. I see where you were going with the all caps in his name but most the punch means nothing and getting stuck on caps lock isn’t really a diss)
this boyo is turn-UP i be surprised if it holds urnings
dudes so loco locomotives are scarred from its love in coal burning..
(Lol come on bruh)
so ima drop a dime in thought like the wording holds water..
because it only follows footsteps like a pig to the slaughter
(The set up didn’t make since. Punch is abstract)
send fools lit up, if your style a mess n sloppy
I’ll treat you like a fireman. When the building getting lit I ketch some bodies
(This was just a jab but you already took the battle with this)
He was cocky last battle he had, Incred was speedin past tho.
I guess he loves da milk things like Fidel Castro.
(I don’t get the Castro and milk tie. This missed )
Judging by your rep tiles, the fact your a cake’s gone out boy
I’ll have this slitherin snake’s hair white, Draco Malfo.
(This wasn’t a bad attempt. Rep tiles wp works. The punch was ehh but I see where you’re going)
On New Years, Cereal tried a drop n faded.
I did a 360, now it’s Boxing Day bitch
Time to end this, and I had his head in a few.
That was the second time you were pummeled by an incredible dude.
(Someone just used this incredible flip if I’m not mistaken. Even if not, it’s too simple of a flip to really hit)
Cereal you gotta COMPLETELY overhaul your style man. Abstract lines don’t work in battles, you gotta learn how to craft punches. Also you doing too much focusing on rhyming and flow that you’re not making sense - just rhyming. Also stop saying nigger.
DMS has structure and gets the concept of how to craft punches. Nothing but took this easily. Keep improving bro - you got the basics down.
MVGT DMS
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