aight Witty. good stuff. I was feelin this. some parts were very solid others you tried to push the envelope rhyme scheme wise and I don't think it worked.
The wind roars, rain creeps down, freezing under the breeze
Trees bustle, my feet hit the streets as the leaves rustle
The season of the deceased, when evil summons disease
Comes upon us to ease drop on your dreams, screams muffled
They live a fiends struggle, so I heed none of their pleas
I breathe trouble, I need my release from this brief tussle
this part. I see what you were tryin to do but I think it hurt the flow of the piece overall.
Seething anger consumes me, as I creep through the night
The streets lay asleep, unaware that evil will strike
Policing the fight, I bring the screams and the fright
Conscience leaving, chest heaving, I fiend for a sight
Of the cowards, who bored through my core's center
My plan is to bring war to the door of my tormentors
Abhor enters my pores, I venture forward once more
Just a door now between me and my source of deplore
this section was dope. no doubt . it ended strong . got better as it went on. good stuff.
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