Quote:
Originally Posted by DynamiCz
Today I'm putting the preacher to work, you in a box we ammo the weapons
On signal! Emerge and see flashes from a line of vehicles-funeral procession
Decent, but the execution could've been smoother
Cred the new dynasty? My motive to kill will leave everybody dying
Shots fired! When you see pops fuck up a empire-it ain't Lucious Lyons
Would've been more effective if he had a crew
We both talking with guns, shit get heated when I remove the sleeve
This jew lie? Two palms on the grip when I shoot-NBA Summer League
He's hispanic, not jewish & again overworded, get the punch off quicker
Lets talk recoil! Aim at his mental soon as I get the 12 gauge pump in
From a bridge! Make you freefall with ropes to your ankles-that's bungee jumpin
Clever
I learned by you! If my weed Blue Magic-i probably would of smoke blue too
I stay running the mac, if it break I know how to fix it myself-computer guru
Blue reference was rendered irrelevent, because it doesn't relate back to the punch. Overall cool, just get more personal.
Soon as you roll a backwood, your hands crumble the leafs from flinching
Homicide you missing! Tourney partner gone need a fill in like a nail technician
Another irrelevent set-up, concept's fresh, but you didn't make it relate.
I know a blood that watch nickalodeon, still run in the event & pull ya card
The wrong tone, I'll have Slime cover up a star on stage-Kids Choice Awards
Lol I actually like this, nostalgia reasons.
Simple punches vs haymakers-This Tyson before they had his boxing rep diminish
2 Piece w/ the combo, have you seated w/ the double decker-you in a bus from british!
Seen the concept utilized better.
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I think I've told you before that I like your concepts, you just need to get harsher, cleaner execution. Get more personal & specific to your opponent & whatever personality/persona they're own for. Also pay closer attention to the longwinded manner in which you word ya bars. Even use a syllable count if necessary, at least until you write/read more naturally. Otherwise good verse tbh, nowhere near wack, just not as polished as it could be, 100.