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Old 06-09-2018, 06:31 PM   #11
Jabari Black
Sun Tzu
 
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Join Date: Mar 2018
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 550
Battle Record: 13-6


Champed
- Battle Arena League
- 1-2 Punch League
- Netcees Battle League
- Netcees SOL

Rep Power: 12764499
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2trip came out with an opener that I thought missed. The next 3 bars all felt like statements bars. No real punch. The closer was funny to me. That was definitely your best line. Not that great though tbh.

Bongo had a pretty good opener. The sacred text line missed imo. The survival scene bar was witty but it was too subtle. The long shot bar was decent but simple. The closer was pauseworthy so it was a miss to me.

Overall...

2trip your verse came off as like a freestyle. It was too much filler lines. Gotta work on crafting punches, wordplay, etc. and make sure every line has a punch. Take that last bar and work and build on that. Also, you gotta use some punctuation to make your verses easier to read.

Bongo’s verse was enough to take this pretty clear. You can clearly rap imo but you’ll have to adapt your style a bit once you get some tougher competition. Your setups got that open mic feel so work on being more direct with your bars. You are punching though.

Overall Bongo took this one pretty clear.

Mvgt: Bongo
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