[sral]

"Dear Mathyou" (2009)

My Dearest Mathyou,

As I pen this epistle, I’m a man on a mission
I send you this missive in the hopes that you’ll get it
I wanna ride off into the sunset with you on a t-rex
Talk about the birds and the bees, then play with your penis
Get down on my knees and please Jesus
Feel his salvation on my face—yeah, I need this
On the sixth day God made your dick and saw that it was hard
On the seventh day he rested, but watched it from afar
We can snuggle and watch Glenn Beck and then Left Behind
And wait for the apocalypse until the end of time
In bed you’re so fine, hot like Tabasco all night
If god hates gays why’d he make your asshole so tight?
Place your hand on my dick and pretend it’s the bible
There’s only one passage: Vas Deferens—recite it
It’s like this: Mathyou, we aint fucked in months
There ain’t no second coming, I done busted once
But whenever you come, just holler in pain
I’ll wipe it up with the shroud of Turin… it’s already stained

REPENT AND BELIEVE IN JESUS H. CHRIST