[2tripple0]

Hmm idk man decent lines i guess fucking you really made me quite impressed i guess with your writing er whatever but what i really took from the piece just at a first glance reading and how i felt after reading it once anyways was that it was just an impressive piece that kind of made me feel like yeah your structures nice and you can handle a line somewhat although at points i was like what does this have to do with the topic sober??? I dont know it was a bit too complex to figure out which is okay i guess sometimes but i dont really get how lenox is like yeah i related to that.... its like genocide said you were using language that he doesnt really undrstand or get which is cool sometimes cause you can kind of take it to mean anything.... for me hat doesnt really work though i didnt really understand the story is all i mean i guess i could read it again but i just feel it would have taken me in a completely different direction than i initially thought.... sorry man but for me i just feel you could have done more with the topic sober.... what do you mean is being sober better/worse and what as the reader am i actually trying to understand about being sober..... however you do know how to write a very engaging line that makes the reader feel yes his guy actually knows what hes doing... thats a good thing you just need to kind of really get your story to the point that yes i learned something from this story yes this guy really taught me the pros and cons of being sober er whatever.... just my opinion anyways your a good writer keep dropping bro...