[2tripple0]

Right i liked ypur ability to tell a story somewhat.... it was a bit of the kind of played out alcoholic shit though for me the only advice i can give is to explore different ideas than just the same old im an alcoholic and im going to kill myself because my life is ruined instead right try taking your character and explore his skills and abilities.... the fact the guy can still change his clothes everyday can still tie his shoes and the fact he has to eat 3 meals a day and shit like that just everyday shit where this man is struggling cause hes an alcoholic and all of a sudden realizes fuck the only way hes going to make it is if he kind of takes care of his shit like taking a shower everyday changing his clothes getting a good nights sleep taking out the trash washing the dishes shit like this.... i think you need to take better care of your characters i mean you just kind of said yes he didnt kill himself but you kind of left him like yeah youll get better one day but how how is this guy gonna get better if he doesnt understand how to live and all he cares about is alcohol.... i mean alcohol is nice sometimes but you really gotta learn your characters and your readers.... the writing anyways was halfway decent... it couldve been better just really think about taking your victories where you can as the author right and then putting them into the story.... what do you actually have or know about that helps you in real life and put it into your stories.... your not that bad but i enjoyed your last verse that i read a bit better.... this wasnt bad but it was a bit too cliche and there wasnt any real resolution your character is basically still fucked.... you need to really learn him somehow if you want to write about a homeless alcoholic.... there has to be a way to get across to this guy that fuck theres more to life than alcohol which is what you were trying to achieve.... i dont know if i was writing ghis story i would have been like yes theres more to life than alvohol but look what it is its tjings like brushing your teeth every night watching a movie or telebision er someyhing like that which in s way kind of sucks cause its really mundane and boring therefore this guy turns to alcojol because it puts a nit of pleasure back into his life.... but somehow idk because society looks down on drunks er sumn his life just becomes gucked cause he cant get a job cant have a girl has mo friends all he has is his alcohol.... that would have been a better story.... good for you for dropping anyways....