[iLL ScriptureZ]

So, I wrote this entire thing out on here and it erased so I will do it again. Let me first publicly apologize for the feedback I left you. I did it in response to a similar feedback I received on my drop and responded prematurely. You were not the person who did it. For that, I will read your drop and give you the feedback that was deserved. Though you did not like my piece, which is fine, I still owe you this respect.

The first thing I notice is that you have a tendency to be too wordy. Ironically, saying less can be saying more with the right word usage. Combining words with depth mixed with emotion could be a good recipe for you as I can see you have the emotion part down. You come off angry, disappointed, maybe a combination of both. Harnessing that in these types of drops draws the reader in and keeps their attention. You have a lot of technical flaws in this realm but little bits of promise as well. Multi-syllable rhymes on some of your external rhymes which shows you have the ability to do them. I just think you need to put a little more thought into your pieces. This will help rhythm, flow, cadence, delivery and overall your rhyme schemes.