Vulgar straight up destroyed this piece.
Quote:
I was blessed within a time, when up & comers had a paladin’s crest
A system of honor, a callous with breadth, a proving ground, challengers trekked"
"I was born with a matrix-bent spoon that was dispatched in ghastly light
You were born with a silver spoon that Lama pawned before he sold out the site
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Damn broooo your whole verse was a very nice read. Not much in terms of criticism for ya!
Objective, not that your verse wasn't good, but following Vulgar it definitely felt like it was lacking in content to me. The paintjob bit was decent but the setup for it was lacking and your closing bit was alright too.
Gen, not too bad either, felt overall you were still basking in Vulgars shadow. I really liked the banned wagon wordplay, but a few other lines missed for me. You sacrificed a bit of flow to try and get some punches out and I think it would have turned out a bit more raw if a few more punches were worded nicer. Still a very adequate closer for an overall enjoyable read.